Ireland Says That Due To The Coronavirus, Anyone Caught Kissing The Blarney Stone Will Be Arrested on The Spot

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Tuesday, 17 March 2020

image for Ireland Says That Due To The Coronavirus, Anyone Caught Kissing The Blarney Stone Will Be Arrested on The Spot
Visitors to the Blarney Castle are now prohibited from kissing the world-famous Blarney Stone.

CORK, Ireland – Irish officials are taking the Coronavirus very seriously, as evidenced by a newly-written proclamation which, if violated, will cause the violator or violators to be taken into custody.

The Blarney Stone Coalition of Dublin stated that the carboniferous limestone block was first built into Blarney Castle back on September 3, 1446.

The castle, which was constructed by the Dad and His Lads Construction Company of Belfast, has been visited by millions of visitors from all over the globe, including just last week by a family of 13 Eskimos from the North Pole.

Legend has it that, if one kisses the Blarney Stone, it will bring the kisser untold health, wealth, the gift of the gab, money, and will greatly improve one’s love life.

Da Blarney, as some refer to it, has been featured in over 700 Irish songs, including the 1955 hit by Irish baritone, Harry Plunket Greene, “I Kissed Da Blarney Stone, and Nine Months Later Me Wife Chole Honored Me With Triplets, She Did".

IN CLOSING - Blarney Stone tour guides have informed the public that there are 8 by 10 glossy photos of the Blarney Stone available for purchase which are totally safe for kissing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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