Hipster, Martin Jarvis, a 24-year-old experimental entrepreneur from Mithering on the Trent, has recently entered his second hour of stroking his beard.
After growing his facial hair for a few months, he is rightfully proud of the brown mass of hair that currently protrudes from his skin, but his girlfriend, Wendy, told us: 'I thought we were going to go out, but he is just staring at the mirror, running his hand over his beard. Honestly, if he paid me that much attention, I would love it, but he never does.'
Wendy and Martin have a troop of monkeys who regularly glue their furniture to the ceiling.
