Popular Chutney on the Fritz schoolgirl, Sarah Fitzmaurice, 14, received a surprising eight Valentine cards, seven of which have been thrown out.
Sarah told us: 'I only kept the one from Thomas Johnson, as he is lush. The one from Snotty Bob, flatulent Dave, and five with handwriting I neither recognise or can read, have gone straight into the recycling.'
The cards are now feeling rejected, like the boys who sent them. We are not surprised that Snotty Bob or Flatulent Dave have been rejected. It seems like both of them have long-standing medical conditions that should have been looked into by now.
The cards said 'No, we are all feeling low about it. We knew that becoming Valentine's cards, there was a chance that we would be neither bought, or appreciated, but this is taking the proverbial.'
Gary Johnson, Thomas's father, said 'Thomas sent that Sarah girl a card, but I don't think that anything good can come of it really.'