Labour MPs are rubbishing Jeremy Corbyn in an effort to lull Tories into a false sense of security

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Wednesday, 11 December 2019

image for Labour MPs are rubbishing Jeremy Corbyn in an effort to lull Tories into a false sense of security
Jeremy Corbyn wondering which of his Labour colleagues is about to stab him in the back first

Labour MP Jonathan Ashworth has admitted berating his leader Jeremy Corbyn but, while he originally said he was “joshing”, he has now revealed that it was actually part of a Blackadder-style “cunning plan” to “lull the Tories into a false sense of security”. Misbelieving that there would be no threat from Labour, it was expected that all Tory candidates would stay home, drinking champagne and smoking cigars, instead of going out and canvassing votes for the general election on Thursday.

An election expert, Mr S. Baldrick, indicated that such a cunning plan might even have worked, if it wasn’t for the fact that not all Tory candidates are complete yoghurts. “It was inevitable that some or many would see through Mr Ashworth’s plan”, he said. “They might even have been inspired by the fact that Labour MPs hate their own leader, and campaign with increased fervour.”

However, some Labour MPs caught criticising Mr Corbyn behind the bike shed of the Labour Party HQ admitted they weren’t trying to lull anyone into any kind of security. “We just hate Mr Corbyn, because he’s a Marxist, an anti-Semite and a threat to our country’s national security,” one said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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