Harry Maguire Named In Yak Palimony Suit

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 8 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire Named In Yak Palimony Suit

BILLINGSGATE POST: Details are irrelevant. But it seems that ever since he was suspended from Manchester United for playing with his under-Inflated balls, things have gone down hill for the beleaguered Maguire.

The domestic yak (Bos grunniens) is a long-haired domesticated bovid found throughout the Himalayan region and as far north as Mongolia. Not unsophisticated, for millenniums yaks have always been looking for a better life, doing whatever necessary to integrate themselves with Homo sapiens.

The City of Manchester has a number of watering spots or pubs where different species might, with a wink and a come-hither glance, bond hermetically with someone with half as many legs.

Well, it happened. Luka, a domesticated yak of questionable lineage, filed a palimony suit, naming Harry Maguire as “a person of interest.”

Slim: “Maguire must have had one too many.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Fermented yak milk can make you do some crazy things.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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