International man of mystery and avoider of Twitter, Donald Trump, has made an offer to Iceland, to buy the favourite supplier of prawn rings instead of the country.
Having been let down in his attempts to buy Greenland, the buffoon has bought Iceland, but got the country and the emporium of frozen foods found on high streets throughout England mixed up, and has ended up with the latter instead of the former.
'It is going to be so good, so wonderful,' said Trump. 'I am going to pay Kerry Katona a lot to start advertising for it again. It is not what I wanted, really, but I hear that a lot of mums go to Iceland, and you know how popular I am with the ladies......So wonderful, wonderful prawn rings and pavlovas. Bigly. Bigly Boris will be so jealous.'