LibDem MEPs get dermatitis from itching powder on bollocks t-shirts

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

image for LibDem MEPs get dermatitis from itching powder on bollocks t-shirts
LibDem MEPs still scratching themselves after changing back into suits

British LibDem MEPs have been rushed to the Mega Hospital in EU City following a mass outbreak of dermatitis, following their wearing of cheap, anti-establishment “Bollocks to Britain” t-shirts.

The incident happened following the opening of the EU Parliament today when the UK’s plucky young Brexit-bashing LibDems arrived wearing t-shirts which said “Bollocks to Britain”.

But their excited grins soon turned to frowns, as they discovered that some evil Machiavellian mastermind had spread itching powder all over the cloth. At first they started scratching themselves wildly like chimpanzees at a “find the flea” competition. Then they began scratching each other, much to the disapproval of everyone else. Finally, when they had had enough, they bolted for the exit, ran out of the building and along the cobbled road towards EU City’s Mega Hospital, where they were examined and found to be suffering from Stage 4 dermatitis. By this time, some had changed back into their suits.

Commander Poirot, of Mega City’s crack EU Police, announced that his force had discovered large footprints leading from the Brexit Party’s benches to the LibDems seats, where an empty bag marked "Itching powder - made in Britain" lay on the floor, saying “Zis is obviously ze verk of that chack-al, Nigel Farage”.

Meanwhile, a spokesman for the Brexit MEPs denied involvement, saying “It couldn’t have been us, we were all looking the other way”.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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