Postcode lottery winners announced

Monday, 17 June 2019

Here are the results of the weekly U.K. Health postcode lottery:

Geoff Soup of Gloucester matched three numbers and won a kidney.

Patricia Harlot from Essex got four balls and is eligible for a double vasectomy.

Brian Cockburn of Ayr guessed the bonus ball and receives three spare fingers.

In the Crime category:

Steve Dolphin of Rugby matched all six numbers and gets a Get Out Of Jail Free card (not valid on violent crimes)

Fergus Jackson of Berwick Upon Tweed correctly found four balls and wins police protection for a week.

And finally, Jill Varney of Aldershot got three right and gets a free prison visit.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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