Michael Gove, the full adult form of fictional house-elf Dobby, has revealed that he would still like the opportunity to be 10 Downing Street's first-call tea-boy.
A cocaine-taking past may have scuppered his chances of the top job, but he still has his eyes on some of the prizes. Speaking to us earlier, he said: 'Damn! Once again, my past has crept up on me. It was bad enough when I was just married to a Daily Mail journalist, but now this. I only want the top job.' He stamped his foot, and then threw a bit of a hissy fit.
'Still, if I can't be Prime Minister or tea-boy, I can at least open all of the mail.'