Teresa May regrets running through wheat story

Written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 9 June 2019

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Darth Vader in cheerful planet destroying mood.

Following on from the news that most of the front-runners to become Prime Minister have a drug-fuelled past, Teresa May admits that she regrets saying the running through the Wheatfields of local farmers in her youth was the worst of her transgressions.

Looking for ways to fill her time, she told us 'I once kissed a man, to see how it felt, and I lost the House of Lords stash of cocaine one night, many years ago, and all I could think of was running through fields of wheat. Although I was taking so many drugs back then, that could have been a hallucination anyway.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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