D-Day Remembered

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Sunday, 2 June 2019

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On June the 6th people across the world will celebrate D-Day, when 75 years ago, thousands of Allied troops landed on the sunny seaside at Normandy in what would be the beginning of the end for Hitler's Germany.

A group of elderly veterans told their fondest memories of D-Day exclusively to TheSpoof. They are now in their nineties, but still have vivid recollections of that happy day.

Geoff Jefferson, 94, from London, wept as he recalled it. "The main thing I remember is the ice cream. I was covered in the stuff by the end of the day. The Germans had set up a stall on the beach and we all had a few scoops. I was so full I could barely sleep that night."

American veteran Hal McVetch, 97, had different memories. "For me, the most exciting thing was the sandcastle competition. I built a big round one with an American flag on top, but one of the Germans called Fritz won with his recreation of Neuchwanstein. There wasn't any prize so we all just hugged him."

Former German officer Hans Mueller, 96, also remembered it fondly. "I sold three hundred cornettos that day, and we even ran out of jelly. The local French didn't buy them often, so we were very pleased when we spied a hundred boatloads of chubby English and Americans heading straight for our little stretch of beach. I was as happy as a clam. But my favourite part was the donkey rides."

A re-enactment is planned for Normandy this week, and a million gallons of ice cream has been ordered so that members of the public can experience what it was like to be a part of D-Day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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