A bitter war of words has broken out between two Spoof writers, Duff and Breeze, over Breeze's suggestion that Duff would sink so low as to pepper articles with gratuitous vaginas.
A clearly upset Duff told Spoof Editor Nigella Lawson.
"I've given months to this paper and tried, God knows I've tried, to keep fannies out of my articles. It's somewhere I just don't want to go, preferring instead, to write about the finer things in life like Curry and Bollywood babe, Shilpa Shetty.
But as for yer man, that Breeze Comanche, practically every word he writes deals with people's downstairs business. Sure doesn't he have a mind like a sewer; the dirty feckin baste! His family'd be scundered, so they would, if they could see the muck he comes out with!"
The Spoof understands that Duff will adhere to the newly implemented Doris rating of articles and says that he hopes that all others will play ball too. Duff added:
"Nobody gains from this situation except the likes of The Sun, The Mirror and Daily Mail. I urge all Spoofers to get fannies out of their stories for good!"
This Story has Doris rating of 1.5
Duff has asked us to make it clear that his conviction for squirrel bothering was a case of mistaken identity and that he is not a one-eyed hack either. So there