Skint student, Gavin Flangebiscuit, has come up with a way of making himself a few quid and he's sure that the scheme's a surefire winner.
The clearly pissed Gavin elaborated:
"It's all to do with people who don't pick up dog mess basically. They are throwing away a fortune and I'm cashing in"
Gavin explains that he goes round his locality with a pooper scooper collecting all the 'deposits' he can find. He then puts them in a bin-liner before taking them back to his squalid flat.
Next, he presses and compacts the 'product' with some old house bricks, before allowing it to dry naturally on his window sill.
"It looks just like dope, so then all I do is get a train to somewhere out of my own area and flog it to unsuspecting mugs at 35 notes a go. It's a piece of piss really, well no actually, it's a piece of shit come to think of it but you get what I mean don't you?"
We asked if he wasn't worried about potential health risks associated with his enterprise and he told us:
"Walking down the road is dangerous mate and look at it this way. I'm not contributing to feeding people's addiction. I'm simply ripping them off. Now that's something totally different"