Written by Bob Muppet

Wednesday, 17 December 2003

image for Sexy Suicide Bombers Get Their Kits Out
Does Bomb Look Big In This ?

Christmas-time has traditionally proved difficult for the terrorist family.

But the age-old problem of what to buy the 'terrorist who has everything', has finally been solved !

Hamas R'US was specifically set up to solve this gift problem, following extensive consultations amongst the world's leading terror groups.

Part of the problem was that Christmas-terror-presents were only available for the male terrorist, causing women and children to make do with non-terror gifts.

But this is all a thing of the past, as the Christmas-terror-catalogue provides a whole range of atrocity-inducing goodies!

So, for the lovely ladies, it's out with the predictable Yasser Arafat tea-towels and in with designer suicide belts. These sexy numbers will raise the pulse of any hot-blooded organisation and are guaranteed to make the most matronly suicide-bomber look cool.

Top gift idea for daddy-terrorist, is a novel range of textured paint that incorporates Semtex. So, after sandtexting his terror-house, daddy could nip down the road to the American School and Semtex the children in the playground.

Young toddler -terrorist has not been left out of the catalogue of carnage! Toddler-terrorist can cut his teeth on rocket-grenade teething rings or relax whilst his mummy reads him enlightening extracts from Saddam's Bumper Book of Christmas Butchery.

So, for the terrorist who has everything, Christmas 2003 is bound to go with a bigger bang, thanks to the dedicated people at Hamas R'US !

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Christmas, suicide

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