The British Parliament Loves Satan

Funny story written by Dracula

Thursday, 6 December 2018

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"Hail, Satan!" exclaimed the British parliament when it approved a plan to have a Satanic monument placed outside the parliament.

The Satanic Temple of London has placed the historical display outside the parliament building, joining the Christmas tree scene and the Menorah to mark Hanukkah.

Though the tree has taken centre stage outside the House of Parliament, a large group of protesters assembled when the Satanic monument was unveiled.

British law has a history of tolerance for other religious viewpoints.

According to the Satanic group’s application to the parliament to allow the display, the sculpture is called 'Satan is your Master', and it depicts the forearm of a young virgin woman extended, with a snake coiled around the arm, and the hand holding an apple. It represents Satan, in desperation, trying to save Eve from biting into the apple.

“We see Satan as the saviour of mankind,” Crayfish O'Hoolihan said.

He called the pursuit of Satanic worship, “the greatest achievement of advancing yourself, and we believe that you should basically act to increase your wealth and status in society.”

The head of the Church of England was at the celebration. He hugged O'Hoolihan, and said he loved him, then he placed his right hand on O'Hoolihan's shoulder, and praised Satan, to show goodwill.

O'Hoolihan said, “In history, Satan is accused of lying and promoting wrong. According to our beliefs, Satan was given a kingdom under earth after the Archangel Michael bore false witness against him...God forgave his children for fighting, and allowed Satan to leave.”

A spokesman for the parliament said the London-based Satanic group has the right, as a religion, to put up its display alongside the Christmas tree.

A large group of Muslim protesters yelled insults and demanded the Satanic group destroy the monument. "Take your evil out of this place, and burn in Hell!" said one Muslim protester.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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