A government Think Tank set up to consider the options open to humanity in order to achieve immortality, has concluded that death is inevitable.
The group, set up at enormous expense to the taxpayer, came to its 'inevitable' conclusion after two years of intensive research based in various wine bars and bistros in central London.
Death, which has affected SO MANY people, has long been the topic of discussion amongst people from all classes and persuasions, but especially the old, who appear to have far more to fear from it.
The 'experts' involved say that, at best, death can only be postponed, principally by using vastly-expensive medical treatments not normally accessible to the lower orders of society. They advise anyone intent on surviving more than their 'four-score-years-and-ten' allocation, to become wealthy enough to afford these extortionate procedures, by fleecing the poor and needy for all they've got, and then some more.