Teenage Dickhead's Street Cred Destroyed After Man Tells Him "Fuck Off, Knobhead!"

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 15 August 2018

image for Teenage Dickhead's Street Cred Destroyed After Man Tells Him "Fuck Off, Knobhead!"
Bully met his match

The feelings of a teenager were left in tatters last night, when a man outside an off-licence told the lad, in no uncertain terms:

"Fuck off, knobhead!"

The incident happened outside 'Beero Beers' in Romford, Essex, as bully David 'Ammo' Hamilton and his 15-strong gang of hooded hoodlums slouched around the shop frontage, looking for mischief, and acting anti-socially to anyone that came in or out of the shop.

Earlier victims had included a 12-year-old boy - there to buy some crisps - whose money Ammo had 'borrowed', two 14-year-old girls who had been called 'slags', 'sluts' and 'whores', as a consequence of being pretty, and local loner, Timmy Tompkins, whose bicycle tyres were let down by Ammo and his gang, amid great mirth.

When bricklayer Terry Smith turned up to buy a case of beer for a night-in he had planned with two mates, Ammo stood in the builder's way. Terry politely asked him to move, and sniggering could be heard from the bullies. Terry asked again. Ammo told him, "Say 'please'!", so Terry did. Then, Ammo said "Pretty please."

Terry looked at Ammo for a few seconds, and then he glanced round the circle of bullies. The sniggering ceased. A sinister sense of dread came over the youths, as they realised that they may have bitten off more than they could chew with this one. Terry grabbed Ammo's ear, and told him:

"Fuck off, knobhead!"

Ammo's underpants started to get wet. A big, warm, dark patch appeared on his jeans. Terry looked down and smiled. Laughter broke out amongst the bullies. Ammo picked his bike up off the floor, and got out of there as fast as he could. He's staying in to watch telly from now on.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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