Plans are afoot for the establishment of a privatised heaven. Rupert Rees-Hogg commented: 'There are far too many ex-Etonians and Establishment figures who have been refused access to heaven on their death. This must stop! At the moment any old anyone can get into heaven by spouting peace and love. Rumours abound that Jeremy Corbyn's place in heaven is assured! This cannot be allowed.'
Entrance to a private heaven will be expensive. Keeping out unsuitable people is the main aim. But making certain wealthy people get to heaven is also important.
Investment plans are now being implemented by the various religions and only a few people have been killed so far during heated discussions between oil magnates and various royal families.
A wall between the ordinary heaven and the privatised heaven has been proposed by Donald Trump and millions have been invested in getting building workers into the private heaven to complete the task.
A spokesperson for the Duke of Edinburgh stated that Prince Philip is on the priority list for the private heaven. 'God knows, he deserves it - at least we hope so' said a spokesperson.