Written by Jaggedone

Monday, 29 January 2018

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image for Brits win WW3 around the swimming pool as Germans throw their towels in!
Brits throw sand in the German war machinery once again!!!

The normally efficient German tourist trade has lost the 'Battle of the Pool', and have been forced back to the beaches because Brit tourist companies have secured the "Front-line" by reserving sun- lounges for their lobster-looking punters!

German tourist giants have sworn to fight back, but for now have had to swallow British imperialist impudence because they left their heads in the sand too long believing that Brit tourists are just a bunch of "bleached white freckled piss artists" who didn't really care about getting burnt alive at the pool and preferring "happy hour binge boozing sessions!" Germans tend to only booze after dark gladly showing off their glorious suntans whilst pissed "Red-Skinned Brits" lay in bed suffering from horrific sunburn.

However, sophisticated Brits sick of being second best at blagging sun-lounges around the pool have now won the war due to a strategic plan to conquer the Germans by a renowned Brit holiday company. They are offering their more classy clients a reserved, VIP sun-lounge, for a meagre fee of £22 nicker, and the Germans are furious!

So, for the time being Churchill's famous war cry has made the Germans retreat and, instead of being confronted with happy Germans (a seldom occurrence) surrounding the pool, Beach-Bum Brits now have to put up with an infantry of 'Sauerkrauts' battling for sun-lounges on their beaches!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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