Written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 1 January 2018

image for Man breaks new year's resolution
Yes, come the summer I will be beach body ready.

Donald Smith of Basingstoke has broken his only new year's resolution in only one day.

The Office worker claimed that he wanted to get fit, and joined a gym, paying more than £1,500 for the year's membership, but the chap told us that it is now 17.30 on New Yeat's Day, and despite his best intentions in November and December he hasn't been able to drag himself away from Homes Under The Hammer, Where Eagles Dare our to face the rain.

Smith said 'I feel like such a failure. I joined the gym, and I haven't even gone on January 1st. I think I will stay in and just watch that new thing with David Walliams instead'

We didn't mention to Mr Smith that it was likely his gym was shut today, and hundreds of other people have pissed away as much money on things they planned to do in 2018.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more