Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

image for New Zealand breastfeeding mum banned from vegan restaurant!
Are we animal, insect, or human? Jaggedone's CIA is none of them because we are aliens!

Vegans on the warfare in New Zealand! A mum holding her hungry baby attempted to flop her boob out in a vegan restaurant and was told to put it away and "get out!"

The mum, very upset of course, put away her boob and left the restaurant in disgust being a vegan herself for many years, but now she is reverting to a vegetarian diet because of the incident!

Jaggedone decided to send his star CIA, NZ, (cockroach infiltration army) veggie reporter, Kiwi Beefeater-Bacon, in to find out what the problem was and here is his report after interviewing the owner of the establishment:

"Sir, why did you ban this mum?"

"She allowed her baby to drink animal products in our vegan restaurant!"

"But mum's milk is not animal, it's human!"

"No, you are wrong, humans are animals (that's an insult to the animal kingdom) and we do not allow anybody or anything to consume animal products in our pristine, vegan restaurant!"

"Sir, are you a bit of a butthole with high morals about consuming animal products and what is wrong with a healthy dose of honey, or a glass of organic milk now and then?"

"Do you want to make me puke, ghastly animal products are not fit for human consumption, but we love animals!"

"Sir are you not a fucking hypocrite and BTW I entered your pristine establishment via your kitchen and I am a roach!"

"Ghastly insects, I hate them!"

Luckily our star veggie CIA reporter, Kiwi Beefeater-Bacon scarpered just in time before the owner stamped his huge foot on the ground attempting to perform an execution, vegan style!

As for the mum and her baby, she is now eating in a veggie joint and is quite welcome to hang her boob out too!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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