Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 16 May 2015

image for Cockroaches running riot in Jenna Bush Hager's flashy Long Island kitchen
Close-up of the couple's breadbin

Long Island, New York - An airbrush artist employed to showcase Jenna Bush and husband Henry Hager's Long Island teardown is being sued for failure to erase creepy-crawly images inside the couple's beachside home.

Pictures posted on Sag Harbor's Bulldozerbait News website blame cranky local interior designer Lobelia Hessian-Thwackerwacker for adding the unusual personal touches to the property's interior following a contractual spat.

But it's the Hagers' PR stylist Henry 'Hal' Itosis who's being named in a $100k negligee - uh, negligence! - lawsuit for leaving in the yucky imagery 'just for a laugh'.

The publicist claims he was instructed to ignore signs of 'vermin' when working on the Hager account in what his attorney says is a classic misunderstanding 'about not removing photobombs of Jenna's father George W Bush'.

"That's how a few roaches managed to slip the net," Tobias V Knuckleduster of Queens law firm Fang & Claw commented.

An 'artistic licence' defence will be filed next week.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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