Wednesday, 12 April 2017

image for Queen to have "glory holes" installed at Buckingham Palace
The section of wall where the glory hole is to be fitted

The Queen has announced an upgrade to Buckingham Palace to allow visitors to enjoy "glory holes". The Palace has been extensively renovated in recent years, and is now having new features added to make it more comfortable.

A spokesman for the Palace confirmed that builders were installing the glory holes this month, and they would mostly be available to visiting dignitaries and diplomats. One weekend each month they would be opened to the public.

Prince Philip has been asking to have the glory holes installed for many years, and finally persuaded the Queen to permit it. One reason why she agreed was that other countries have similar fittings, the spokesman added.

"In Paris, the Elysee Palace has a splash-proof latex dungeon, and when world leaders visit Berlin they can use the electric fisting machines. It's about time we had something similar here. Visitors often say how bored they are just sitting around drinking tea."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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