Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 3 June 2017

image for Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!
Underfed, underpaid overworked cows run riot in Lancashire!

Police were called out to a filling up station on the M61 near Chorley, Lancashire, yesterday as a herd of dissatisfied cows attempted to raid an ATM!

The cows broke out of their paddock claiming the farmer paid them less than the minimum wage for overproducing gallons of milk, queuing for hours waiting to be milked in the cold, and then having their udders plugged into mechanical milking machines which, sometimes short-circuited and sent electric shocks into their milk turning it into yogurt, very painful!

Enough was enough, so the leader of the herd planned the breakout and they headed straight for the ATM hoping some kind person would extract their hard-earned wages stashed away on the farmer's account because cows normally do not need money. However, in this case, they did.

Police turned up at the filling station amazed at the sight of a herd of cows grazing peacefully, as a vegan, animal rights campaigner, and super cow whisperer, attempted to "milk" the ATM.

When asked by the police why the cows needed the money the campaigner answered; "You try and hitchhike a ride to Dover, with a herd of cows, hoping for a better life in France after escaping British farmers!"

The police rounded up the herd and the vegan. Sent them back to the farm and have informed the Agricultural Ministry about the unbearable conditions cows must work in comparing them to Polish, Bulgarian, and other unwelcome Eastern European workers.

Theresa May, a rare Friesian, and very black or white, milked the action for her election campaign by saying, "we only allow British cows a minimum wage and the rest can F off back to Europe!"


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more