Neighbors Get Restraining Order To Stop Woman From Eating Beans

Written by XRhonda Speaks

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

image for Neighbors Get Restraining Order To Stop Woman From Eating Beans
Flo Pyroclastopis' neighbors succeccessfully sued for an order of protection against her flatulence.

A family in Higginsbern have successfully obtained a restraining order that prevents their neighbor from eating beans.

Inger Clifton said she and her family had complained about a gas smell since moving in to the apartment above Flo Pyroclastopis' a few months ago.

"The maintenance people kept coming over and they could smell it too, but could never find the source or any leaks. My son was the one to notice the smell would subside when the downstairs neighbor went to work."

Apparently Pyroclastopis eats so many beans that the smell of farts permeates her apartment and seeps into her neighbor's apartments as well.

Pyroclastopis at first denied that she was the source of the odor, even though she ripped a few big stinky chuffs when she was confronted by the apartment manager.

Without any proof of excessive flatulence and with Pyroclastopis denying the charges, the judge in the case at first declined to issue a restraining order to the beleaguered family.

On a hunch, Clifton followed her neighbor to her work at an office for a freight company in nearby Tooksbury. From there Clifton was able to discover that Pyroclastopis had been confined to her own office because of her offensive flatulence.

Once the unfortunate office staff joined Clifton's petition, the judge then issued the unusual restraining order. Pyroclastopis can still eat some beans, but only a half cup twice a week, a far cry from the all bean diet she had been following.

As part of the judges order, the flatulent neighbor must work with a nutritionist to help her make better eating choices for herself and those around her.

Another neighbor who declined to be identified, said it was a huge relief to find and stop the source of the gas.

"We used to have a neighbor who cooked curry all the time, that was nothing compared to what we endured with this woman: Curry is at least a food smell, but that fart gas smell was the worst, we had been looking for another apartment until this issue was resolved."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more