Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Chicago man Chicago Mann, 37, has demanded that his doctor "tears him a new one". Mr Mann says that he has always identified as a man with two anuses, although he was born with only one.

"It's literally as if I'm a man with two anuses trapped in the body of a man with one anus," he explained. "And surgery is the only sensible answer."

Doctors have so far refused to operate on Mr Mann, saying that he needs to undergo psychiatric help first. However Dr No of the Chicago Anal Institute believes that if Mr Mann is found to be sane then doctors may have no choice but to give him the extra orifice he desires.

Anal rights group Assholes Anonymous have released a statement, "Anus count is not a matter of biology, it's about identity. We should be able to have as many anuses as we want."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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