Written by Quentin Lambrini

Friday, 11 December 2015

Social media outlets and press organisations were whipped into a frenzy following the latest shock revelation that World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Tyson Fury had absolutely nothing controversial to say today.

Despite numerous questions from desperate hacks, the colourful gypsy pugilist would not be drawn:

"Oy got nothing to say right. Just because I'm the World Champion at something it doesn't mean you lot have to broadcast every word that comes out of my mouth. When Rory McIlroy wins the Open or Murray wins the tennis you don't hear them putting the world to rights."

The Daily Rag Editor, Colm Filler, said:" I'm devastated, how am I supposed to fill all these empty pages? I'll have to find some more pictures of the floods."

Meanwhile 524 people who aren't hard or famous received cautions yesterday for making inflammatory comments on Twitter about Mary Berry's scones.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Boxing




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