Written by Moe Nightwalker

Thursday, 3 December 2015

image for Pepe Le Pew Announces He Is FIV-Positive, Asks Cats For Forgiveness
Spotlight on FIV

Los Angeles- Famed cartoon skunk and international playboy Pepe Le Pew announced today that he has been FIV-positive for the last several years. Rumors of Pepe's condition have been circulating in the cartoon biz for quite a while, according to sources. Pepe was also rumored to have paid off several cartoon characters to keep his condition quiet.

Mr. Pew started the announcement with one of his classic lines, "I am stupid, no?". He then summarized his bad boy lifestyle that landed him where he is today. "I did catnip. I drank half & half and whipping cream. I chased anything that looked like a cat. I got hooked on internet cat videos and paid some of the stars to engage in l'amour with moi, sometimes having several lovely kitties at once."

Accompanied by his veterinarian, Dr. Liz Feelgood, Pepe went on to apologize to all cats for his behavior over the past 70 years or so. "I want to say I'm sorry for the way I have acted towards cats and others in the animation industry. I take full responsibility for my actions." Pepe then thanked each of his 7 ex-cat wives for their understanding.

Former Looney Tunes stars tweeted support for Pepe prior to his announcement. Tweety Bird, who rarely tweets, praised Pepe for his honesty. Foghorn Leghorn suggested that Pepe was simply a product of his times and thanked him for his bravery. Donald Trump later tweeted that Pepe would be welcomed as a judge in the next Miss Universe pageant. Additionally, Mr. Trump wrote, "Pepe and I are very similar guys. Females of all species are attracted to us."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cartoon

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