Jeremy Corbyn sensationally revealed today that he is in fact merely Joaquin Phoenix in disguise and that his successful Labour election campaign was only ever supposed to be a joke.
"It's got a bit out of hand, to be honest," he told reporters. "This was all just supposed to be an experiment for a new film but it's been taken way too seriously. Honestly, I was supposed to be going down the red carpet in Paris with Woody Allen on Wednesday afternoon but instead I'm going to have to do Prime Ministers Questions."
"Who the hell would vote anyway? I've purposely spent the last three months going around in a beige shirt trying to piss people off. I even stood and had my photo taken with Len McCluskey for Christ's sake!"
According to our sources Phoenix is set to name Werner Herzog as Shadow Chancellor and is planning to deliver his key party policies in a rap song.
He's also working on raising extra election funds by transforming the shadow cabinet into a Johnny Cash tribute act.
More to follow.
