A high ranking government official has expressed his relief that last week's terrorist attacks took place in Paris rather than in London.
The former cabinet minister, who wishes to remain anonymous, told this satirist, "I'm delighted that the terrorists attacked France instead of the UK."
"London was bombed in 2005 and before that there were the September 11 attacks in America. Any sensible person could tell you that it was France's turn, on behalf of the West, to suffer at the hands of Islamic fundamentalism. Mercifully, the terrorists saw it that way as well."
Pressed on the cause of the attacks, the minister said, "The magazine in question was regularly publishing racist cartoons and they have to take their share of the blame. Here, in the UK, we are careful to treat sensitive issues with the respect that they deserve."