Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes.
"I am told the family is especially wary of the meals for the next week that they are here. Of course, the menu will be top-heavy on haggis and thistle."
As a further concession, Prince William's and Prince Harry's children, including 3rd in line to the throne Prince George, must marry into the Scottish Stuart line and name the next four males born either Angus or Duff.
