A plan to boost picnic areas was unveiled today by the British Government's Tourist Development Authority. Widened areas of busy central reservations are to have picnic benches and litter bins to cater for the growing number of impromptu roadside picnickers. Currently tourists with no imagination have to picnic in lay bys or go to Bridlington.
Alf Wit of "Egg Sandwich Club" magazine told our reporter, "There are nowhere near enough busy "on road" areas to cater for people who do not need to look at ruins or attractive countryside. We are very different to most people in that we are perfectly happy to spend our holidays in the middle of the M25. The sad fact is that our members interests have been systematically sidelined by the Central Government's plans to make people look at waterfalls and broken Abbey ruins while having their flasks of tea.
Years of petitioning have finally paid off and I plan to celebrate immediately by taking my family on holiday to the island in the middle of "Spaghetti Junction" in Birmingham".