Scotland will cease to be just somewhere that Prince Philip and The Queen slaughter game in, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the Conservative party in Glasgow. "We are probably going to revert to using the forests and moors for their original purpose if anyone can remember what it was" she told the meeting.
"The Royals pay people to rear pheasants and grouse, which are slow flying fat birds, on Scottish land, then scare the birds into flying into heavy artillaty fire. The Royals will have to shoot at frozen chickens until interim measures are implemented. They may have to take up playing dominos and drinking Clan Dew from Lidl like normal pensioners".
