Modern Diets Lack Lard - New Survey Findings

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

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lard grenades

Once everywhere and now out of fashion, there are many good reasons to cook with lard. Does it feature in your kitchen?

Nutritionists have done a startling u turn to recommend the incorporation of lard into all four meals per day according to the British Lard Council. Not far behind Olive Oil in nutritional value, lard is tasty and can be a source of cholesterol and vitamin D. In Ukraine they have a festival devoted entirely to it. Polish immigrants caused a UK shortage in 2004.

If your ancestors came from these islands they likely opened their lard-ers and ate bread, lard and salt for countless breakfasts and not many of them died of obesity. For thousands of years there has been lard wherever there were pigs.

It's a supremely versatile fat. Because it smokes so little when it's hot it's perfect for bringing a golden colour to a chip or a fritter - only dripping, lard's beefy equivalent, does a better job. Lard runs out of hot food and does not stay in making the food indigestible. Its large crystals of fat make lard unsurpassable in baking: a pastry crust made with lard - or half-lard, half-butter offers a stunning flaky texture.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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