Farmer Inutile Germanotta shows his heritage

Funny story written by Evil

Sunday, 1 December 2013

image for Farmer Inutile Germanotta shows his heritage
A man known as Francesco whose shoes were found at the farm.

In a scene right out of the film "Hannibal," a still-breathing Italian villager was fed to pigs by a frugal Italian farmer named Inutile Germanotta.

Germanotta who couldn't afford pig feed, developed an innovative method to increase his profits and to produce Italy's most expensive ham, the famous and rare Culatello di Zibello, which sells for no less that £ 3,000 per 0.454 kilograms.

Over the last ten years 25,000 Italians have vanished mysteriously, but now the mystery has finally been reveled when a cache of shoes were found buried at Mr. Inutile Germontta's Italian farm in the country side of Parma Italy.

A farm worker arrested by authorities came clean when questioned by police after being put through the famous military style water boarding techniques.

The worker explains to police that the hams at Germanotta's farm began to taste better after the pigs were given fresh meat on a daily basis.

The heaviest individuals with good layers of fat were picked off the streets to serve as pig feed. They were taken from Basilicata the poorest region of Italy where people are born outside of hospitals and carry no identification.

Hundreds of street peddlers, prostitutes, and homeless people were tossed into trucks and then transported to holding pens in Parma where they were stripped of clothing, washed, shaved, given enemas, and then sprayed with a sugary syrup.

They were tossed inside a pig sty, where they were eaten alive, the Daily Mirror reported.

"Mr. Germanotta hired french pastry chefs to prepare the feed for the hogs," said a farm worker.

A German geneticist by the name of Heinz Bauer claims that Italy's long history of ancient Roman wars left behind a 60 percent genetic rate of individuals with little sympathy for humanity.

"It explains why Italy is the only European country to have constructed a Colosseum where humans were fed to animals for entertainment purposes," explained Bauer.

Officers claim 80-year-old Inutile Germanotta was wire-tapped boasting about the money he was making.

"It was so satisfying hearing them scream knowing my profits would increase. Mamma Mia, they could scream!" Germanotta boasts in tapes secured via wire taps. "I didn't see a scrap of feed left.

"People say sometimes they leave something. In the end, there was nothing left. Those pigs could certainly eat."

A police spokesman said the bloody feedings began when Inutile Germanotta ran into financial troubles and couldn't secure any loans from small Italian banks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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