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Funny story: Connecticut To Limit Social Gatherings to Only Two People (But Both Must Be Married and To Each Other)

Connecticut To Limit Social Gatherings to Only Two People (But Both Must Be Married and To Each Other)

HARTFORD, Connecticut – The governor, acting on thousands of emails, text messages, phone calls, and a suggestion from his mother-in-law, has just implemented a new social gathering manifesto. He said that, effective at 12:25 am, he will be limiti...

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Funny story: Young Black Male Wanted for Unspeakable Sex Crimes

Young Black Male Wanted for Unspeakable Sex Crimes

The New York City Police Department is asking for the public's assistance in apprehending a medium- to dark-skinned black male between the ages of 17 and 25, who is wanted in the New York City area for questioning in regard to unspeakable alleged sex...

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Funny story: Racial Filing Suspected in Cardiac Arrests

Racial Filing Suspected in Cardiac Arrests

Highlighting the dramatically higher incidents of cardiac arrest among African-Americans, a report published by the ACLU posits that racial profiling may be at play - specifically, the ACLU speculates that police officers are disproportionately targe...

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Funny story: Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Richard Puttup-Yur Dukes, allegedly an All-Tuna, Pennsylvania, man was allegedly arrested for alleged cruelty to animals after he allegedly punched a police officer in the face. The officer was allegedly responding to a call concerning Dukes's all...

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Funny story: German Police Arrest Squirrel

German Police Arrest Squirrel

Karlsruhe, Deutschland—A terrified man called police when he was threatened by a squirrel. The tiny rodent, whom authorities identified as a baby, was in hot pursuit of the victim when police arrived on the scene. “It was a sight to behold,” on...

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Funny story: Hacked vocal fold replacement device results in arrest and possible lawsuits

Hacked vocal fold replacement device results in arrest and possible lawsuits

Frank Cousins was shocked that his computerized voice replacement device caused him to repeatedly utter racial slurs in public, involuntarily. "I was walking through a predominantly Black neighborhood when all of a sudden, the word 'nigger' came...

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Funny story: Trump's Great America To Deport Teenage Babysitter for Tax Evasion

Trump's Great America To Deport Teenage Babysitter for Tax Evasion

Austin, TX - A local babysitter of Mexican descent was arrested yesterday for failing to pay taxes on income earned while babysitting. The babysitter, a 15-year old juvenile, will be arraigned in Federal court on Tuesday. The girl, whose name is...

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Funny story: Fanfiction prompts arrest of rising TV star

Fanfiction prompts arrest of rising TV star

Jane Dawson, officer of New Orleans county, arrested 16-year-old Danny Rivers, star of the upcoming series Rock Out, at his own doorstep last evening. She explained to the Sheriff that she developed an impression of Rivers already after Googling...

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Funny story: Hope Solo, US Women's Soccer Goalie, Can't Stop Slapping Things Down

Hope Solo, US Women's Soccer Goalie, Can't Stop Slapping Things Down

Seattle - Hope Solo, the hot goalie and star of the Team USA Soccer team, is used to swatting things away. Everything from soccer balls to guys constantly hitting on her. But now it looks like the beauty might be taking her work home with her...

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Funny story: Jersey Shore's "The Situation" Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon

Jersey Shore's "The Situation" Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon

Middletown, NJ - Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who gained notoriety on MTV's classy show Jersey Shore, was arrested for fighting with his own brother at a local tanning salon that the pair own together. Apparently, the double douchebags cam...

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Funny story: A 78-Year-Old Iowa Grandmother Caught With 14 Pounds of Marijuana In Her Bra

A 78-Year-Old Iowa Grandmother Caught With 14 Pounds of Marijuana In Her Bra

WATERLOO, Iowa - Law enforcement officers in Waterloo report making one of the most unusual busts in history. Waterloo Police Department spokesperson Sherlock Stallgarden informed the news media that officers searched 78-year-old Olivia Eunice Fan...

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Funny story: Second Shoe Catches Hillary in the Neck

Second Shoe Catches Hillary in the Neck

After dodging a woman's show at a Las Vegas speaking tour last night, a second shoe hit dead center as she came outside on the strip. This time it was a horseshoe and police say they might have an arrest soon. "Someone shouted "Hey! A dead ring...

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Funny story: A North Carolina Grandmother Gets Arrested For Sexting

A North Carolina Grandmother Gets Arrested For Sexting

GREENSBORO, North Carolina - A 73-year-old Greensboro grandmother identified as Daffodil "Daffy" Fugglefield swears that she had no idea that sexting was against the law. Granny Daffy, as her 19 grandkids call her, told arresting officers that she...

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Funny story: Local Man Cuts Down Tree On Old Lady Feeding Pigeons

Local Man Cuts Down Tree On Old Lady Feeding Pigeons

Harold Gillis told everyone gathered around him that he was sorry that he had cut down the wrong tree and crushed the old lady and several pigeons she was feeding. "Look, it could happen to any of us. We think the tree is going to fall a certain w...

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Funny story: Arkansas Outlaws Road Rage

Arkansas Outlaws Road Rage

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Senator Philbert P. Washmeister [R-Hot Springs] has just met with the members of the news media and he has informed them about a very important piece of state legislation that has just been passed by the Arkansas State Senate.

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Funny story: Oprah Winfrey Says Justin Bieber Needs A Damn Good Spanking

Oprah Winfrey Says Justin Bieber Needs A Damn Good Spanking

CHICAGO - America's Talk Show Queen, Oprah Winfrey has said that the little pop singer Justin Bieber needs to realize that he is getting real close to self-imploding. Winfrey talking with Durango Tucker of National Focus Magazine said that the lit...

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Funny story: A Grandmother In Arkansas Is Arrested For Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men

A Grandmother In Arkansas Is Arrested For Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Claire "Cookie" Starkdiffy, 79, told the local authorities that she had no idea that what she did was against the law. Mrs. Starkdiffy, who was divorced in 2010 by her husband Wardley Starkdiffy after 51 years of marriage,...

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