London Marathon Cancelled

Funny story written by John_L

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

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£10+ to bury her.

The 2013 Virgin London Marathon due to be run this Sunday has been cancelled at short notice. The event which raises millions of pounds for charity as well as being a showcase for top international athletes has fallen victim to a lack of available police cover.

"Unfortunately we cannot afford to cover the cost of policing the Marathon and the funeral of Baroness Thatcher so something had to give." Mayor of London Boris Johnson told a press conference. "Of course it is disappointing but come on Thatcher was the closest thing this country has to a home grown saint. We have to give her a jolly big send off."

Charities that work in the areas that were blighted by the policies of Thatcher will be hardest hit. Jane Greld of the Brixton action on Poverty said: "We were looking to raise around £1000 from two runners in the marathon to keep a youth centre open for another year. These are services for children who were born into the poverty that Thatcher caused and are living through the poverty her acolyte Cameron is causing. To cancel the marathon at short notice just to pay for her funeral is criminal."

Double Olympic medalist Mo Farah who was due to compete in the first half of the Marathon tweeted his disappointment. While Tour de France winner Bradley Wiggigs was more outspoken saying "Back to the dark days. Olympic legacy cancelled for old cows funeral."

A spokesman for the Mayors office has denied reports that the prospect of hundreds of people dressing as munchkins and singing 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead' as they completed the course was the real reason the event has been axed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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