London - A spin doctors' dream cooked up by Illuminati scoundrels is one NATO soothsayer's take on the latest Brit crap.
"Nothing like schmoozing the brain-dead masses with a massive dose of phoney royal stuff," Brigadier General Sir Monty Dambusta VC & Bar commented this morning.
"Sinister Hellfire shoo-ins Cameron and Osborne are still micro-managing national headlines as paranoia over Rebekah Brooks seeps from Downing Street into the national psyche."
Yeah, whatever.
The cold war hero's stark warning comes as UK Prime Monster David Cameron allegedly refuses DNA testing to dispel rumors that he's Rebekah Brooks' twin.
His Chancellor of the Exchequer 'Gorgeous' George Osborne is widely accepted to be Kate Middleton's actual lawfully wedded husband and the father of her firstborn Justin Bieber.
"Just don't rule out Canadian central wanker - er...banker! - Mark Carney is being the leg-over villain who spawned young Justin," Dambusta added.
"Would make horrible sense to promote him to Bank of England governor if all this sordid smoke 'n' mirrors stuff holds true."
