Palace mole tipped-off paps in topless Kate pics brouhaha

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 15 September 2012

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Royal mutt-raking: was a webcam bugged as nude Kate watched her pooch back home?

London - A secret 'Mr 20%' is raking in the moolah as more flesh-flash Kate shots are published this weekend.

His SMS texts - as seen by QM-NewsCorpse reporters - tipped off long lens paps in the Luberon last week.

And now the sender has been ID'd as a Buck House mole in charge of royal pooch-walking on lush Palace lawns and other mutt-raking places.

This morning Royal Protection Racket sniffer dogs traced the illicit £££s whiff to a certified dog-walker 'who once groomed Lupo' - the cocker spaniel pup owned by Kate and Wills.

A webcam device used by the couple to monitor their pet while sunning their butts at the French chateau may also be in the frame as cops probe claims the link 'was bugged'.

The news comes amid growing fears that the doolally duchess 'took all her kit off' while watching Lupo at home in his kennels.

"Heads will roll if the royal webcam's been hacked," a senior cop commented today.

"Still, it should pay for a decent boob job for flat-chested Kate once she gets her mitts on all the 'hurt feelings' compensation dosh."

A racy Agent Provocateur silk and leather basque complete with magic boob uplift cups retails for a bargain two thousand squid.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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