Welsh flood woes intensify amid reports of crack in local reservoir

Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 10 June 2012

image for Welsh flood woes intensify amid reports of crack in local reservoir
Hundreds of kilo wraps were dropped by a cropduster microlight

Wales - West Wales Drugs Squad has been alerted to a new horror menacing the flood-stricken people of Gwynedd.

This morning's reports said crack had been found in a reservoir at Pennal, close to Machynlleth, contaminating drinking supplies and frightening local dealers.

"The last thing residents want is some sort of narco turf war," the Reverend Dai Leakey told parishioners at Morning Service as police choppers swooped on the illegal wraps.

"Besides, do we really want a rival 'mineral water' plant round here?"

Hundreds of packets have been found floating in the village lake after a suspected aerial drop by a cropduster microlight shortly after midnight on Saturday.

Some had burst open and contaminated the water causing the death of millions of newly hatched fish.

Innocuous-looking plastic packaging claimed the parcel contents are 'Diamond Jubilee Gift to Welsh People from your many admirers in Bogota'.

By lunchtime over one million poundsworth had been recovered by Drugs Squad divers who earlier had searched for a Colombian submersible in the nearby River Dovey which feeds the lake.

"An average rock of crack cocaine retails at roughly the same price as a bottle of local mineral water," Det Supt Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch commented.

"Doesn't take a genius to see it's all a scam."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more