Govt Scheme To Help Elderly Downsize Championed By Local Entrepreneur

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

image for Govt Scheme To Help Elderly Downsize Championed By Local Entrepreneur
Mr Sharples' property in Ladysmith Terrace.

A local businessman has offered to help with Government proposals to help elderly people 'downsize' while providing accommodation for young families.

Housing Minister Grant Shapps announced yesterday that local councils should offer to help pensioners move to more suitable accommodation to create space for families.

Under the proposals, the authorities then takeover maintenance of the vacated properties which they let at affordable rates, passing the profits back to the elderly owners or their estates.

Now, entrepreneur 'Big' Vern Sharples, who operates from the body shop behind Old Station Road, has offered to step in to save the local council the effort.

"Yus, that's right enough," he said this morning. "The cahncil has enough on its plate, right enough, wivaht worrying abaht taking homes of the old folk and putting young'uns in them.

"Look I've got a couple of drums dahn Ladysmith Terrace - you know, above the bookies and the laundrette and the like - and you could easy get a couple of old'uns in there.

"My lads can collect the rent of them what we puts in the old'uns' places and, er, yus, er, we'll make sure they gets the bunce - and everyone's laughin'"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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