Health and safety investigating explosion at Manchester Food Festival

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

image for Health and safety investigating explosion at Manchester Food Festival
The Sprout and Cabbage soup stall had received a number of complaints about gas leaks

The Manchester Food and Drink Festival was rocked by an explosion and fireball late last night sending revellers running for safety and leaving three people hurt and dozens more traumatised.

Health and Safety officials have moved in to identify the source of the blast, and have narrowed it down to the Sprout and Cabbage Soup stall.

"Initial reports coming in," said lead investigator Robyn Bystander, "describe a foul smell, the sound of leaking gas followed by a large explosion."

The blast was initially thought to be a terrorist attack, as this is always the initial thought for any explosion, but this was quickly disregarded as improbable, unlikely and untrue as it fits none of the facts.

"It was a gas leak," said Bystander. "Definitely, unequivocally and absolutely."

Although three gas cylinders were present at the Sprout and Cabbage Soup Stall, it is unlikely that these were the source of the blast.

"We think that the blast was caused by a particularly pungent fart," said Bystander. "That particular stall has been the source of a lot of nasty emissions since they set up. We think in this case that a combination of factors combined to make it the final straw."

According to Bystander, the source of the blast had previously had a sweet chili wrap, followed by a baked potato and beans, and finished with a sprout and cabbage soup.

"Our recommendation to prevent this from happening again," said Bystander, "is to prevent the fire eater from performing anywhere near the Sprout and Cabbage Soup stall. Given they're particularly bad at it, we'd suggest they return to their call centre job instead."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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