Prince William in shocking Aston Villa rant

Funny story written by Rebel Not Taken

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

image for Prince William in shocking Aston Villa rant
Charles N'Zogbia.

Prince William has shocked locals in a Windsor newsagents with a foul mouthed rant about his football team Aston Villa.

It is not the first time the Prince, a diehard Claret and Blues fan, has 'done one' after his favourite players have been transferred.

William, who asked his wife Kate Middleton to wear Aston Villa lingerie on their wedding night, had already called Villa owner Randy Lerner a "total knob" after Ashley Young was sold to the prawn sandwich eating brigade at Manchester United.

Now William, just back from his honeymoon, has kicked up a stink after picking up his copy of The Sun from Castle Newsagents in Windsor.

The Prince, who was decked out in a Villa shirt, baseball cap and trainers, let rip after reading that winger Stewart Downing had been sold to Liverpool.

"The youth called the footballer a mercenary prima donna and all Liverpool fans scouse retards" claimed newsagent Jimmy Patel.

According to an eye witness, the Prince "totally lost it" after reading that Aston Villa were planning to buy Frenchman Charles N'Zogbia to replace Stewart Downing.

William, who was wearing a Villa shirt with Downing's name on it, told another customer that he would "rather nail my dick to the wall than walk around Windsor with the name of that useless donkey N'Zogbia on my back."

"The Prince then tore his Villa shirt off and flung it at at an old age pensioner" said the Birmingham born proprietor of the family run shop.

"Prince William was bundled into a white van by Royal aides and they sped off doing wheelies" according to Blues fan Patel.

And Prince William is not the only famous Aston Villa fan to be upset by the plight of the Villains.

Conservative Party leader David Cameron, who is the nephew of former Aston Villa chairman Sir William Dugdale , has supported the team since he was 13.

"I think it's very exciting," he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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