Villas-Boas Promises Bright Future For Chelsea

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

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New boss says Chelsea must survive in the Premier League.

A bright future is promised for Chelsea following the appointment of Portuguese coach Andre Villas-Boas.

He will be confirmed as Carlo Ancelotti's successor at Stamford Bridge today after Chelsea bought out the £13.2 million release clause in his contract at Porto.

The west London club is already lining up some big-name signings to bolster their Premier League challenge next season and the new coach has been studying how to handle the Englis media.

He told our sports editor, Thelonious Adidas, through an interpreter: "It's an exciting opportunity for me and I think Chelsea and I have a bright future together.

"But first it is important to establish Chelsea as a Premier League club - so our first priority will be to get to that 40 points then push on from there.

"So it will be a case of 'take each game as it comes' and let's see where we are in January."

Asked about owner Roman Abramovich's thirst for European success, he merely added: "Let's worry about surviving in the Premier League first - that's essential for a club like Chelsea."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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