Sensation As Messi Hangs Up His Boots

Funny story written by grimbo

Saturday, 28 May 2011


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The world of football is in a state of shock with the news that Argentinian superstar Lionel Messi has quit the game.

Just minutes after helping Barcelona to win the Champions League final against Sir Alex Ferguson's Man Utd, the 23 year old maestro told a stunned press conference of his shock decision.

"Ever since I was a 3 year old kicking a tin can in the streets of Rosario, Santa Fe , I dreamed of being the best player in the world, winning the biggest club competition in the world against the best club from the best league in the world, with the best manager in the world at the best stadium in the world.

All my life I felt it was my destiny to achieve this - and now I have fulfilled my dream.

Messi explained that he feels that he has reached his physical, financial and motivational peak.

As he can go no higher according to these criteria, he has decided to become a worshipper of Buddhism in an effort to achieve "ultimate spiritual enlightenment".

He is to study under the Dalai Lama at his exiled retreat in Northern India and will be taking vows of abstinence, penury, silence and celibacy.

"The person you see before you is a vain, superficial and self-righteous shell of a being whose absence from this life that he has created will go unnoticed.

"I will soon be taking the path to rebirth and salvation".

Meanwhile, beaten Man Utd captain Nemanja Vidic and his team mates went out and got rat arsed in a Westminster club.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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