NBA Fines Kobe $100,000 for Derogatory Comment: "No More Slurs, You Purple-Gummed Cotton Harvester."

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

image for NBA Fines Kobe $100,000 for Derogatory Comment: "No More Slurs, You Purple-Gummed Cotton Harvester."

An NBA spokesman says the league has fined Los Angeles Lakers' Kobe Bryant $100,000 for apparently using a derogatory homophobic term about a referee in a game on Tuesday.

"Kobe Bryant's comment during last night's game was offensive and inexcusable, even for a Colored," NBA commissioner David Stern said in a release. "Accordingly, I have fined Kobe $100,000."
Video replays appear to show Bryant using the slur when he couldn't get Bennie Adams' attention as he came to the bench after getting hit with a technical foul during the Lakers' 102-93 victory over the San Antonio Spurs.

"Hey, you f--king faggot," Bryant yelled at Adams. "I should throw you in my trunk and take you to Colorado. Kobe's d--k has immunity in Colorado."

"Yeah, baloney smoker," Bryant continued. "I'm gonna f--k you like you have a--hole cancer and my d--k is full of radiation and free colonoscopy coupons."

Bryant punched his chair before taking a seat on the bench and threw a towel on the court near his feet in frustration after picking up his fourth foul in the third quarter. Another referree came to Adams' aid, although the berating didn't stop.

"Is that your boyfriend, buttf--ker??" Kobe asked. "Look, it's Bitch Cassidy and the Buttslam Kid."

"What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period," Bryant said in a statement. "The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the colon comrade and donut-bumping communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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