'Randy Andy' Gray Moves On: Signs $3.5m Deal with Al-Jazeera to Cover World Cup!

Funny story written by Morse

Wednesday, 26 January 2011


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Qatar: A Country Andy Gray Can Be Proud Of & Women Know Their Place!

A smug Andy Gray, fired from Sky News and deprived of his lucrative salary, wasted no time in moving his career forward as he signed a new deal with Al-Jazerra after the Qatar based media company inked its own deal with FIFA to cover the 2018 & 2022 World Cup events!

Gray had been sacked over recent recorded comments deemed "unacceptable and offensive" toward female TV presenters and a comely 25 year old linesman recently featured in a UK tabloid partying away from the pitch.

At the ceremony, Gray leaned over the table to a comely staff reporter and crooned, "Hey love, can you help me tuck me wallet in...it's a bit overstuffed at the moment!"

His comment raised guffaws from the Al-Jazerra staff, with their spokesman, Mahould al-Ba-Boom saying, " it's a stroke of luck, innit? Andy is just what we need to cover the Cup for our constituents...we love his sense of humour and he's not afraid to keep women in their place. Our audience is just going to luv 'em, eh?"

Al-Jazerra cut the deal with FIFA and will be broadcasting the events throughout the entire middle east and North Africa.

The FIFA is remaining MUM on the financial details of the broadcasting coup, as most of the money to cement the deal was paid in cash, carbon credits, and fast motor cars.

Qatar, with a population of around 950,000, counts only about 355,000 'citizens', the remainder being 'guest workers' who often are lured to the country with promises of high wages only to find they have signed on to indentured servitude as forced labour laws are seldom enforced in the emirate.

The oil and gas rich area has the highest GDP in the world, and while women are permitted to drive, civil law is still overshadowed by Sharia Law when it comes to family matters.

A spokesman for Gray said the former footballer was excited about his new job, and looking forward to moving to a country 'which knows how to keep a woman in her place!"

A spokesman for the Sports Ministry, said that there were no plans to allow a female
linesman into the country to officiate the upcoming Cup event, but did say there were plenty of job opportunities for women 'as long as they know their place , keep a neat house
and don't mind Andy's sense of humour!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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