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Funny story: Women's World Cup Teams Get Fair Play Warning from FIFA

Women's World Cup Teams Get Fair Play Warning from FIFA

"It's just not good enough," ranted FIFA President Gianni Infantino "and they've got to play the game fairly." At a hastily-convened press conference for the alcohol-sodden, chain-smoking football press corps, the bald-as-a-coot Mr Infantino expla...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Guardiola Under Threat, Come Back Mourinho, Pochettino Not Employed to Win Trophies

Football Gossip: Guardiola Under Threat, Come Back Mourinho, Pochettino Not Employed to Win Trophies

After his crisis club's nightmare 2-1 defeat by no-hopers Newcastle United, Pep Guardiola is fighting to save his job as he seeks to get Manchester City's title defence back on track. "Next week will be tough with Arsenal, Everton and Chelsea," he to...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Hoddle, Mourinho again, Women's World Cup, Forest Green Vegans

Football Gossip: Hoddle, Mourinho again, Women's World Cup, Forest Green Vegans

Former England and Tottenham manager Glenn Hoddle has been "overwhelmed" by the support shown for him since falling ill on Saturday. His family denies that Hoddle's heart attack has anything to do with god and Hoddle's views on the disabled that "Som...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Under fire Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho made his feelings clear when told that he has been charged over comments he made in Portuguese to a TV camera after his side's win over Newcastle on 6 October. After consulting a lip reader, the FA s...

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Funny story: England V Panama

England V Panama

A dominant display from England saw them trounce a hapless Panamanian side 6-1. Goals from Stones (2) Kane (3) and Lingard ensured England wrapped up their biggest win at a World Cup without breaking a sweat. Of course after this superb England...

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Funny story: Forward passing banned by FIFA

Forward passing banned by FIFA

They've gone ahead and done it. After fewer and fewer examples of the ball actually being kicked up the pitch towards the opponent's goal in the latest Euro 2016 Championships, FIFA have taken the bull by the horns and banned all forward passing...

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Funny story: Sepp Blatter outed as Andy Kaufman

Sepp Blatter outed as Andy Kaufman

The criminal investigation into Sepp Blatter has discovered that the Soccer boss is in fact Comedian and Prankster Andy Kaufman, who was thought to have died in 1984. Many people have over the years pointed out some similarities between Kaufman a...

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Funny story: Don Blatter denies he's the Godfather

Don Blatter denies he's the Godfather

Swiss Authorities today announced a criminal investigation into corrupt actvities by Sepp Blatter (known variously as 'The Don', "'Sepp The Tongue'and 'Sepptic'",  the President of world soccer governing body FIFA. From his heavily fortified famil...

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Funny story: Soccer's Green Card Plan. Insert Your Own Trump Immigration Jokes Here

Soccer's Green Card Plan. Insert Your Own Trump Immigration Jokes Here

It's happened again. People's inability to read a news story to the end has got immigration fretters wearing away the last strand holding their heads on. European soccer chiefs this week announced a scheme to introduce green cards to profession...

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Funny story: FIFA scandal spreads to Games body

FIFA scandal spreads to Games body

New York - The Games Body, official body of international summer and winter athletics events, may be tainted with the same crap as footie's FIFA scandal according to unreliable sources at QM-NewsCorpse. Latest reports are describing the same of cu...

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Funny story: FIFA Scandal: Jack Warner Reveals Everything

FIFA Scandal: Jack Warner Reveals Everything

Former Fifa vice-president Jack Warner has revealed himself on live TV causing a massive electricty surge in the tiny nation of Trinidad and Tobago. Mr Warner, who said he feared for his life, also said he could link Fifa officials to the German i...

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Funny story: 2010 World Cup To Be Replayed

2010 World Cup To Be Replayed

The 2010 FIFA World Cup, originally played in South Africa, is to be replayed next week in the United State after the country admitted paying Fifa $10m to host the 2010 tournament. "It's only fair," said one man, just days after FIFA President S...

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Funny story: THIEFA president out on his ass

THIEFA president out on his ass

Switzerland - The president of the Thieving Hypocritical Idiots Embezzlement & Fraud Association has hung up his boots in the wake of the latest corruption scam. Jeb Splatter, 69, was ousted from the world racketeering body despite having been...

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Funny story: Sepp Blatter wins Nobel Prize for Obliviousness

Sepp Blatter wins Nobel Prize for Obliviousness

Amid a whirlwind of allegations against FIFA, the world football authority, its Secretary-General received a rare piece of good news. In a private ceremony held earlier today, Sepp Blatter was awarded the 2015 Nobel Prize for Obliviousness. The a...

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Funny story: Sepp's Main Aim

Sepp's Main Aim

With the re-election of Sepp Blatter as head of the mafia Back and to the Left news travelled to Switzerland to visit the man himself. After passing more security than a secret research facility we were taken to a giant pool room. Half naked beauties bathed in a pool of champagne and frolicked under waterfalls of gold flecked water. We would have given them a wave but that would be a breach of...

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Funny story: Blatter wins again

Blatter wins again

Sepp Blatter, Non-Stick-Coated CEO of FIFA, has been re-elected despite not winning a two-thirds majority against Jordan's Prince Ali bin al-Hussein, who withdrew after the first round of voting. Furious that allegations of corruption were also la...

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Funny story: FIFA supports corruption as laissez-faire

FIFA supports corruption as laissez-faire

Amid calls for his dismissal FIFA President Sepp Blatter refused to condemn allegations of widespread corruption within soccer's governing body. FOX news reported earlier today that President Blatter strongly opposes any investigation of FIFA.

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