PARIS, France - (FIFA Satire) - Sports Bet Gazette reporter Zorro La Bamba has just broken the story that Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL has instructed the FIFA World Cup Committee to stop using the name "Football" and start referring to it b…
In a blow to Human Rights campaigners, the world football mafia, FIFA, has ordered players not to dress up like Santa Claus during World Cup matches in Qatar. Two Brit players, captains of the England and Welsh squads, had agreed to don the tradit…
"It's just not good enough," ranted FIFA President Gianni Infantino "and they've got to play the game fairly." At a hastily-convened press conference for the alcohol-sodden, chain-smoking football press corps, the bald-as-a-coot Mr Infantino expla...
After his crisis club's nightmare 2-1 defeat by no-hopers Newcastle United, Pep Guardiola is fighting to save his job as he seeks to get Manchester City's title defence back on track. "Next week will be tough with Arsenal, Everton and Chelsea," he to...
Former England and Tottenham manager Glenn Hoddle has been "overwhelmed" by the support shown for him since falling ill on Saturday. His family denies that Hoddle's heart attack has anything to do with god and Hoddle's views on the disabled that "Som...
Under fire Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho made his feelings clear when told that he has been charged over comments he made in Portuguese to a TV camera after his side's win over Newcastle on 6 October. After consulting a lip reader, the FA s...
A dominant display from England saw them trounce a hapless Panamanian side 6-1. Goals from Stones (2) Kane (3) and Lingard ensured England wrapped up their biggest win at a World Cup without breaking a sweat. Of course after this superb England...
They've gone ahead and done it. After fewer and fewer examples of the ball actually being kicked up the pitch towards the opponent's goal in the latest Euro 2016 Championships, FIFA have taken the bull by the horns and banned all forward passing…
The criminal investigation into Sepp Blatter has discovered that the Soccer boss is in fact Comedian and Prankster Andy Kaufman, who was thought to have died in 1984. Many people have over the years pointed out some similarities between Kaufman a...
Swiss Authorities today announced a criminal investigation into corrupt actvities by Sepp Blatter (known variously as 'The Don', "'Sepp The Tongue'and 'Sepptic'", the President of world soccer governing body FIFA. From his heavily fortified famil...
It's happened again. People's inability to read a news story to the end has got immigration fretters wearing away the last strand holding their heads on. European soccer chiefs this week announced a scheme to introduce green cards to profession...
New York - The Games Body, official body of international summer and winter athletics events, may be tainted with the same crap as footie's FIFA scandal according to unreliable sources at QM-NewsCorpse. Latest reports are describing the same of cu...
Former Fifa vice-president Jack Warner has revealed himself on live TV causing a massive electricty surge in the tiny nation of Trinidad and Tobago. Mr Warner, who said he feared for his life, also said he could link Fifa officials to the German i...
The 2010 FIFA World Cup, originally played in South Africa, is to be replayed next week in the United State after the country admitted paying Fifa $10m to host the 2010 tournament. "It's only fair," said one man, just days after FIFA President S...
Switzerland - The president of the Thieving Hypocritical Idiots Embezzlement & Fraud Association has hung up his boots in the wake of the latest corruption scam. Jeb Splatter, 69, was ousted from the world racketeering body despite having been...
Amid a whirlwind of allegations against FIFA, the world football authority, its Secretary-General received a rare piece of good news. In a private ceremony held earlier today, Sepp Blatter was awarded the 2015 Nobel Prize for Obliviousness. The a...
With the re-election of Sepp Blatter as head of the mafia Back and to the Left news travelled to Switzerland to visit the man himself. After passing more security than a secret research facility we were taken to a giant pool room. Half naked beauties bathed in a pool of champagne and frolicked under waterfalls of gold flecked water. We would have given them a wave but that would be a breach of...
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