Benayoun lifts the lid on cannibalism at Liverpool

Funny story written by Mr Spinks

Wednesday, 1 December 2010


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Former Liverpool FC player Yossi Benayoun has made sensational claims that an ex-team mate tired to eat him during his time on Merseyside.

Benayoun stunned reporters when he lifted the lid on the cannibalistic ways of an old colleague.

The player now at Chelsea fought back the tears and told journalists, "My time at Liverpool was difficult, very difficult. I ask you how well you could do your job if you knew one slip up could result in you being another mans bread and butter".

The Israeli ace claims Javier Mascherano attempted to eat him 'on the sly' on numerous occasions, mainly when coaching staff and colleagues were out of sight.

Benayoun said, "One time he injured me during training, so I went for an early shower on my own. As I walked out of the shower he mauled me to the floor of the empty locker room. He then told me I was going to die before sinking his teeth into me".

According to the pint-sized Israeli, "Incidents like this are a massive problem in Argentina". He then shocked onlookers by showing several bite-like wounds on his shoulders, shins and buttocks. Before continuing with, "I worry for the other younger and weak minded Argentinian players like Messi and Insua. If they hang around with the likes of Javier it will only lead to a more problems for innocent people like me".

Bennayoun insisted his sole motivation for moving to London based club Chelsea, was to escape the evil clutches of his "hairy nemesis".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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