England Rumpus As Montenegro Complain To FIFA Over Kevin Davies Selection

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

image for England Rumpus As Montenegro Complain To FIFA Over Kevin Davies Selection
Kevin Davies standing on the back of a dragon he'd just slain

England boss Fabio Capello is under investigation this morning, after world football's governing body FIFA asked him to explain his actions in calling-up uncapped Bolton Wanderers bull-in-a-china-shop striker Kevin Davies for his Euro 2012 squad to face Montenegro at Wembley on 12 October.

Davies, 33, is the no-nonsense striker who terrorises defences up and down the Premier League with his fearsome approach to the game, which includes playing fairly, challenging strongly, running his heart out, and positively refusing to influence the referee by diving to gain freekicks or penalties.

His selection, however, has ruffled the feathers of the Montenegrans, who, it has to be said, are the laughing stock of Europe with that stupid name.

Montenegro coach Zlatko Kranjcar said of the former Chesterfield player:

"Kevin Davies is big stocky forward. Maybe our defence shitting themselves a bit. Is not fair. We ask FIFA for clarification of this. We don't want drubbing."

But England fan Moys Kenwood said:

"Davies is the kind of player who deserves to play for his country; someone who plays his heart out and gives his all for the team; someone who can take a knock, and give one as well; someone who gets on with the game, and doesn't fall down at the slightest touch; someone who, I'm delighted to say, doesn't put hair gel on, or pluck his eyebrows before he takes to the pitch; and last, but by no means least, someone from the north with true grit and honest determination instead of southern fannies like Crouch. And that's a lot of semi-colons."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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